How to Become Fluent Through a Boyfriend or Girlfriend (Part 2 of 2)

This article is a continuation of “How to Become Fluent Through a Boyfriend or Girlfriend (Part 1 of 2). In the second part, we’re going to talk about some of the pitfalls and tactics to avoid them.

Now that we’ve agreed that having a girlfriend who speaks the language you are trying to learn helps, let’s look at some of the problems.

Perhaps the only pitfall to this situation is if you run into a girl who is desperately trying to learn English or who speaks English better than you can speak her language. If this happens, she may want to speak English with you at least 50% of the time you are with her. There are some tactics for trying to get around this problem which I’ll talk about in just a bit. I know some of you are going to stop right there and say “What? Tactics!? This sounds underhanded” but please, it’s not as bad as it sounds.

In any case, you’ll notice that “desperately trying to learn English” and “speaks English better than you can speak her language” will apply to a lot of girls who are in your native country. To have the best chances of finding a girl who can only speak the language you are learning or who doesn’t care about English, I recommend going to the country of the language you are learning and finding a girlfriend there if you’re willing to invest that sort of time, energy and effort.

Another problem with meeting someone in your own country is that the context in which you are introduced will most likely be English. This is bad since it starts off your relationship as an English-based one. Of course, it is possible to change this but if you have mutual friends that introduced you, then every time you meet with those mutual friends, you will be forced to speak English to each other, further enforcing English as the language of use within the relationship.

How can you change the language of the relationship to the one you want or deal with a significant other who is persistent in trying to learn English? The answer is quite simple, really.

All you have to do is continually speak or respond to your significant other in the language you are studying, even if he or she speaks to you in English. This situation is most likely to occur at the beginning of your relationship since the language of conduct will most likely be cemented as you get to know each other more.

You don’t need to say anything about the fact that you are going to respond or speak to her in the language you want since the important thing is to just do it. Just stay calm and act as if speaking to her in that language is the most natural option. If you’re in the country where that language is spoken, then it is the most natural option and you really shouldn’t be speaking English, anyway.

Let’s say you are in a foreign country and you ask a girl out. If you meet a girl for a date and she greets you in English, you will probably want to respond in the language you are studying. If she then switches to the language you are studying, your mission is accomplished and you can now enjoy both a date and some “study” time.

Some girls will greet you in English because they may be unsure of how much you know of their language and they are just trying to be polite. By speaking in her language, you show her that you are okay with speaking in that language for the rest of the time.

If, however, she responds back again in English, you will want to continue responding in the language you are studying. It will probably seem awkward to you but just continue. It will seem awkward for her, too, and for this reason she will eventually switch to the language you want.

The point is, you need to be persistent or else you will get stuck in the trap of her speaking to you in English every time you meet. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but it’s worth it to see if she’s willing to speak to you in her language and thus give you the extra bonus of some language study.

If you try this tactic and she still continues to respond to you in English without remarking on the fact that it seems odd that you are both speaking in different languages then you may be out of luck. You may also want to reconsider the reason she’s seeing you. Is she seeing you because she’s interested in you or does she just want a free language lesson? Especially if you’re in a foreign country, you will want to watch out for girls who are interested solely in foreigners for their ability to teach them English for free.

Having a significant other who speaks the language you are studying can help you a lot but you shouldn’t let that language time go to waste. You need a method to insure that you will remember every word he or she uses without fear of ever forgetting. You’ll want an overall strategy so that this input from your significant other will help your language studies even more than you thought! Read throughout my site for general methods to be implemented.

Thanks for reading!

– Robbie

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  1. The famous Japanese teacher Eleanor Jorden taught me, “The language that you first use with a person is the language you will use for the rest or your relationship, so always greet people in Japanese.” Just like you say in your post.

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